I'm back - I think

I haven't been active here at all which is just not good enough according to my own standards and intentions. And I'm hoping that it will soon change. Hopefully I'll be able to clear my mind by updating the blog by writing about what's happened since my last post. And I intend to do that as soon as I'm done with the municipality's work-testing course which is supposed to end at May 19th. Once I'm not to be tested every day to see if I can work, how long and with what I hope that I will get more energy and will be able to get back some sort of a life.
Maybe then I will not be as touchy about people telling me what to do and will be able to ignore stupid remarks, people looking at me like I'm a retard (pardon my lack of wording here but I can't find another word to use) and family memebers trying to dictate to me what I should or should not do.
I feel that my temper has been tested A LOT lately due to incompetent doctors, and words from people who don't think before they speak or people who just meddle into things that just aren't any of their business. The more I have to endure the harder it gets and I can't seem to keep my mouth shut nor can I restrain myself from saying STOP.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how much the AMC affects my life - and always have (I just never new the name of the cause until two years ago) and why it is that my pointing out that something just wasn't right with my body had been disregarded by so many doctors as "you're just getting old" and how much my life could have been different had my AMC been diagnosed when I first started pointing out that my body wasn't normal. I know that that doesn't help me at all but still I can't stop wondering.
I guess it's because I'm in "no man's land" since it's costumary that AMC is diagnosed at birth and mine wasn't until I was 37 - and yet - despite of the diagnosis - I hardly have any information to go on when it comes to what to expect because it seems that I - and the other members of my family that have the diagnosis - have a type of AMC that the doctors have never seen before.

There's a lot to get out of my system and a lot to write about - which I will do soon - at a more decent time of day (or in this case night).  I hope that whom ever reads my posts to come will bear with me if I some times need to let out some steam and if some posts may seem a bit negative but I feel that in order to tell my story I need to be honest and call a spade a spade. If I don't I wouldn't be telling MY story and I wouldn't be giving a truthfull picture of who I am - and for the most times I actually enjoy being me.